Essential Magic Articles

This is a call

by arctic79

    It’s high time someone said something (other then “Draw, Go” or “Scoop”), to their opponents.  How about “Chill out it’s only a game” or “There is a store around the corner that sells deodorant”.  I don’t know about you but I am on the verge of taking game losses because over competitive players and the lack of personal health and hygiene that seems to be running rampant through the Magic community.

    Let me stop you now before you start foaming at the mouth, spouting lines like: “You probably suck anyways.” I’m no top tier player by any means but I’m on the high side of average. Sure competitive is good and I don’t want to take away that aspect, but I’m talking waaay over competitive.  No one likes to seen a grown man or an old enough to know better child, throw a temper tantrum because he lost a match to a tier 2 or tier 3 deck.  Sh@t happens, and maybe you aren’t as good as you thought you were.  To me this has become more prevalent in the last 2-3 years.  It is sucking the fun out of playing magic. Isn’t fun the reason we all started playing, to make friends and socialize in our own little world of mages and planes walkers.  Because let’s face it we in the world of Dominaria are all geeks.  I’m a geek and if you are reading this article then truly you are a geek too.  Geeks have always had a rough time fitting in, whether it’s in class, at work, even at home.  We needed something to help us socialize and get out of the basement before we all turned into Michael Bates’.  Wizards of the Coast gave us that, and for a while life was good.  Then something happened, I don’t know what but animosity towards fellow players started to become more and more apparent.  Were the stakes higher?  Did everyone want to be the next Flores?  What really got me thinking about this was I started showing signs of aggression towards my opponents.  The fun was slipping away, and what was it losing to? It's greed and self gratification, plain and simple, nothing more, nothing less.  Because really what’s better then owning 4 Mana Drains but owning 5, and what’s better then being cut from every activity you ever tried, why winning of course.  Did you ever stop and think that every time you shoot down a fellow player by making off the cuff remarks, you are making them feel bad?  But it makes you feel good, right?  Sure it does, which makes you a bully ala Lord of The Flies.  But what it really does is starts a cycle, the player you made feel bad then does the same thing to another player and before you know it we are all Frenzied Goblin s and not the eloquent sophisticated mages we once were.  Try complementing your opponent on a play well made or making a joke of your frustration, this will make both of you feel good and the better sportsman because of it.

    As for the deodorant remark, seriously take a shower, brush your teeth and use some deodorant.  Is it that hard?  I know we geeks have a stigma for dirty, smelly, overweight individuals, but we can beat that.  I know it’s glandular or some other bull crap excuse but we know what it is, 85% of you are in or going to be in the computer tech profession, why? It is because online we can be cool, have friends (cough), and of course porn.  How do you change that?  Good question, the answer is simple, look after your self properly.  Eat somewhat healthy, and be active, this does two things for you, it sheds weight and proper food means a clear complexion.  This ties into the whole body odor issue: the less fat you are the less you will sweat hence the less you will smell.  This leads to major payoffs, more advancement at work (yes appearance goes a long way), acceptance into different social crowds and a member of the opposite sex taking an interest in you. Here’s a hint drama club girls are way better then cheerleaders when it comes to relationships.  

    So I leave you with this challenge:  Have fun when you play, try it (it really works) and look after yourself.  To Wizards of the Coast I leave this challenge: do something to curb obesity, a contest or an award to well groomed and well adjusted players.  It’s hard to profit when your demographics start having heart attacks at age 20.

I’ll be looking forward to your rage in the forums.


Last edited 6/20/2007 1:58:04 PM Page 1 of 1  Prev  Next  Go to page:

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